csammisrun

From the co-respondence of C. B. Sammis, this Nineteenth Day of February, Two Thousand and Nine:

To my colleagues at the Ministry of Gummi Studies:

I bring a most fervent request for absolution regarding my ignominious delays in publication, having been indisposed of late. My penmanship and mobility were much degraded from the gnawings of the mad Persian, Q. S. Hulud, following the disastrous events of the recent Continental Meeting of Gelatinous Discovery Institutions. Suffice it to say that while my publications could not be presented at that time and hence I have been very pained to write or digest all but the weakest broths, I have continued the tradition of vigilant observation that the Ministry may expect from any research bearing My Own Name.

Knowing of my fervent and repetitious inquiries into the subspecies haribo, the esteemed fe-male scientician C. A. Hansen presented me during my convalescence with a large herd of the creatures contained within a glass vessel. The Ministry is of course well aware that the goal of my previous research has been to illuminate the behavior of g. bear in those conditions which find its fragile constitution threatened. Gentlemen, this pursuit does remain my dearest ambition! Immobilized as I was, however, I studied the captive bears that were available to me. Finding myself once more in possession of my scriptuals, I humbly request your attention on a matter which has thoroughly ensnared my focus and which may well prove to be the foundation of many future studies and degrees.

g. bear haribo pack behavior in the presence of Emotions
There is precious little public knowledge on the matter of pack behavior in the gummi genera, as the masses prefer to encounter representatives of the species individually. Indeed, even our Ministry has not conducted more than the briefest of researches into the matter. It was most astounding to me, therefore, that the haribo in the glass vessel had arranged themselves in the shape of a symbol of Love!

A photo-graph evidencing the herd of haribo‘s peculiar pattern

It was at this juncture that the beguiling Ms. Hansen reminded me of the date: St. Valentine’s Day. As baffling as it may seem, the conclusion is inescapable. g. bear haribo can sense emotions in humans, and arrange themselves accordingly when in the confines of a suitable container! It is not known whether other subspecies of g. bear manifest this trait. The burden of proof must sadly fall on the shoulders of my esteemed colleagues, as Ms. Hansen has indicated that she will only produce such fascinating circumstances about once a decade.

At this point I find that I must cease this letter and continue the transcription of research notes fresh on another day, as the exertions of writing have exacerbated the wounds I received at the Conference. Rest assured that though they may be less frequent, the publications under My Own Name will maintain the highest standard of excellence that the Ministry has come to expect.

And here’s my marque to prove it. Gentlemen, I remain:

C. B. Sammis